And not just a regular dust bunny. This thing had evolved. It wasn’t a bunny at all. It was a full-on dust jackalope — big enough to deserve a name, strong enough to stare back at me like it had squatter’s rights. I swear it even hissed when I poked it with a hanger.

What began as a simple rescue mission for my phone turned into a full-scale military operation. I armed myself with a broom, a flashlight, and the kind of courage you only find after three cups of coffee. My husband volunteered to “supervise” (translation: he sat on the bed scrolling his phone).

Underneath, I found not just the dust bunny but an archaeological dig site:

Three mismatched socks.

A hair tie colony.

A school permission slip from last fall (signed, thank you very much).

And one petrified gummy bear, which I may or may not have screamed at before launching into the trash can like it was toxic waste.

The battle was long, but victory was mine. The dust bunny didn’t go quietly — it fought back with sneezes and an alarming amount of gray fluff — but eventually, I dragged it out into the daylight and vacuumed it into oblivion. Cue triumphant music.

I flopped on the bed afterward, sweaty, victorious, and already knowing this war would have to be fought again. Because dust bunnies are like Hydra: defeat one, and three more will rise in its place.

June Buzzes In 🐞✨

“Hey kids, it’s June! Want to help keep dust bunnies from turning into dust monsters? Here’s a fun game: put socks on your hands and crawl under the bed like ‘Dust Puppet Warriors.’ Wipe around as you go, and watch the bunnies disappear. Bonus points for silly voices while you do it!”

Here’s the truth: cleaning under the bed is like flossing your teeth. You know you should do it, you avoid it as long as possible, and when you finally do, you feel like you’ve accomplished something heroic.

So yes, I declared war on the dust bunny under my bed. And while I won this round, the battle never really ends. At least now I know my phone is safe — until next time.

And if your dust bunnies have reached “small farm animal” status? That’s when you call in Lightning Bug Cleaners. We’ve got the gear, the grit, and zero fear of under-bed monsters.