How I Declared War on the Dust Bunny Under My Bed
September 25, 2025
It all started when I dropped my phone behind the bed. One careless reach, and suddenly I was face-to-face with something no human should ever have to meet: The Dust Bunny.
And not just a regular dust bunny. This thing had evolved. It wasn’t a bunny at all. It was a full-on dust jackalope — big enough to deserve a name, strong enough to stare back at me like it had squatter’s rights. I swear it even hissed when I poked it with a hanger.
What began as a simple rescue mission for my phone turned into a full-scale military operation. I armed myself with a broom, a flashlight, and the kind of courage you only find after three cups of coffee. My husband volunteered to “supervise” (translation: he sat on the bed scrolling his phone).
Underneath, I found not just the dust bunny but an archaeological dig site:
Three mismatched socks.
A hair tie colony.
A school permission slip from last fall (signed, thank you very much).
And one petrified gummy bear, which I may or may not have screamed at before launching into the trash can like it was toxic waste.
The battle was long, but victory was mine. The dust bunny didn’t go quietly — it fought back with sneezes and an alarming amount of gray fluff — but eventually, I dragged it out into the daylight and vacuumed it into oblivion. Cue triumphant music.
I flopped on the bed afterward, sweaty, victorious, and already knowing this war would have to be fought again. Because dust bunnies are like Hydra: defeat one, and three more will rise in its place.
June Buzzes In 🐞✨
“Hey kids, it’s June! Want to help keep dust bunnies from turning into dust monsters? Here’s a fun game: put socks on your hands and crawl under the bed like ‘Dust Puppet Warriors.’ Wipe around as you go, and watch the bunnies disappear. Bonus points for silly voices while you do it!”
Here’s the truth: cleaning under the bed is like flossing your teeth. You know you should do it, you avoid it as long as possible, and when you finally do, you feel like you’ve accomplished something heroic.
So yes, I declared war on the dust bunny under my bed. And while I won this round, the battle never really ends. At least now I know my phone is safe — until next time.
And if your dust bunnies have reached “small farm animal” status? That’s when you call in Lightning Bug Cleaners. We’ve got the gear, the grit, and zero fear of under-bed monsters.
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It started as a peace offering. I was going to make dinner that everyone would eat without bartering, bribing, or Googling “can a person survive on buttered noodles alone?” I lit a candle. I turned on Italian jazz. I tied on an apron like I was auditioning for a cooking show called Barely Holding It Together with Marinara. The sauce was bubbling—grandma’s recipe (okay, the label said “family size”). I gave it one confident stir, turned to shoo the dog out of the kitchen, and that’s when the pot reminded me that hubris always comes before the splat. There was a sound—somewhere between a burp and a volcano—and suddenly my stovetop performed a tomato-based fireworks display. A scarlet geyser launched toward the sky, arced in slow motion, and decorated the ceiling like modern art. One heroic glob hit the light fixture and clung there, wobbling like a daredevil about to jump. I screamed. The kids screamed. The dog tried to help by licking the cabinets. My husband wandered in, sniffed the air, and said, “Smells great.” Then he looked up. “Did… the ceiling just blink at me?” I sprang into action. I grabbed paper towels. I grabbed a step stool. I grabbed the questionable optimism that I could fix this before anyone posted it to Instagram. But the longer I stared at my marinara mural, the more I realized I’d created a legacy piece. Archaeologists could carbon date this ceiling and learn our spice preferences. I scraped sauce off the pendant light with a rubber spatula while the pot continued to bubble like an active crime scene. The noodles—bless their starchy little hearts—boiled over just to join the chaos. Somewhere in there, I decided to wipe the backsplash, set down the greasy paper towel on the nice cutting board, and step directly in a meatball that had rolled away from its destiny. By dinner, the kitchen looked like we’d hosted a pasta parade. The kids asked if we could eat in the living room. I said no because I’m a parent who sets boundaries… and also because the living room rug is white, and I’m not completely unhinged. We laughed through clumpy noodles and slightly smoky meatballs. And after we ate, I stood under my “ceiling fresco” and admitted the obvious: I could either cry about it or call it texture. June Buzzes In 🐞✨ “Hey kids, it’s June! Want to keep pasta night from turning into a tomato tornado? Try this: be the Handle Helpers. Wipe cabinet handles and drawer pulls while dinner cooks—quick swipes with a damp cloth. When the pot pops, at least the sticky spots won’t be where your hands go!” Wrap-Up Here’s what I learned: clean-as-you-cook isn’t about perfection—it’s about leaving tomorrow’s you a fighting chance. Also, gravity loves sauce. And ceilings are braver than we give them credit for. If your kitchen now has a “signature red” you didn’t order, that’s when Lightning Bug Cleaners steps in. We’ll get your walls, cabinets, and light fixtures back to “before the spaghetti incident.
